u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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