I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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