You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
