Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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