somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
