my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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