you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize