Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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