Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
