I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
