I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize