No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
being pregnant is like rehab
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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