i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
