I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize