It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize