2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize