wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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