escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
