Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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