dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
