I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
