Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
