Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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