Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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