Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
