Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just forgot I was standing up.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
