Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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