i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
