Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
