Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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