My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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