Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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