He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
