im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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