so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
