Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
