nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
