Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
