good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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