My girlfriend figured out who you are.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
