Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
