i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
