dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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