You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
