By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
