I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
