dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
