wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
