a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
