therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
