you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
