So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize