I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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