thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize