He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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