I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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