Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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