Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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