I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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