Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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