fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He felt like a one man threesome
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
